Scorpio Vibes

Recently, a friend of mine broke up with a Scorpio…which means that I’ve been hearing a lot about why we suck. Yeah, I said “we”—I’m a Scorpio, and if that makes you lean back a little from your screen, well, you might just be one of the many Scorpio haters out there. If we’re not the most detested sign of the zodiac (Gemini probably wins that one), then we might be the most misunderstood…and yes, I know that’s a very Scorpio thing to say.

But can you blame me? When I started asking people about Scorpio hate, even my closest friends had, um, strong opinions. The friend (a Sagittarius) who’d dated a Scorpio told me we are too guarded, expect other people to read our minds, and hold outsized grudges over the tiniest issues. Another friend (a Gemini) told me that Scorps are self-centered, judgmental, and too quick to call others out for perceived slights. My roommate (a Cancer) said that Scorpios are a textbook example of avoidant attachment style—we keep others at arm’s length, to our own disadvantage.

If my IRL friends said all that, then strangers were even harsher. (Yes, I tweeted asking people to tell me why they hate Scorpios, so I have no one to blame but myself.) One person emailed me, “I LITERALLY HATE SCORPIOS,” then didn’t respond when I asked why. A Pisces told me we’re “broody, seductive, irrationally secretive, and somehow equal parts codependent and emotionally avoidant.” People who’d dated Scorpios had a lot to share: One said they tend to be f*ckboys, and another said her Scorpio ex “is the most deeply, *comically* evil person I’ve ever met.” Even some fellow Scorpios said they’d never again date another Scorp! “I will say they absolutely were horrible people, so I kind of understand some of the hate,” one Scorpio said of her two Scorpio exes.

Of course, I had to ask the pros if the Scorpio haters have a point or if they’re just jealous. To sway the argument in my favor, I reached out only to fellow Scorpios. Drew Allen, founder of Angelite Astrology, told me that it’s all about whether the Scorpio in question has put in the inner work to become the best version of themselves—or as some astrologers put it, if they’re an “evolved” or “unevolved” Scorpio. “If you come across a Scorpio who is not living the life they’re meant to or feels misunderstood in their environment, the negative clichés will seep out,” she said. “A more evolved Scorpio is going to love you unconditionally, give you great advice, protect you, and use their passionate energy to fight for worthy causes. Scorpios must learn to use their power for good.”

Lerato, a student of astrology who runs the platform Musings Abroad, added that although some Scorpio haters have likely had bad experiences with Scorpios, others may be avoiding confronting their own Scorpio-like traits. “What is it that Scorpio represents to you that you refuse to see so that instead of acknowledging it in yourself, you want to hate a whole star sign?” she asked.

One thing I noticed: The only people who have more to say about Scorpios’ negative traits than their exes are…Scorpios themselves. “My brother is convinced I could commit murder simply because I’m a Scorpio,” one told me. Another said, “We spend so much energy hiding how we feel and keeping it private that it likely comes across as cold to other people. The truth is that we feel so deeply that we can’t afford to share that with everyone.”

An old Hairpin article titled “Astrology Is Fake but Scorpios Are Extremely True” begins: “It should be illegal to be a Scorpio. It should be a war crime. It should be a thing that you can only look at a Scorpio from a distance of 200 meters and you are wearing protective headgear while you do it. If you are a Scorpio and you are reading this, stop. You are smiling in a way I don’t appreciate.”

Hmm, you might be thinking. This all sounds suspiciously like…bragging? Well, I have a theory: Scorpios thrive on Scorpio hate. It makes us stronger. “You think I’m a sex maniac who will cut you off with no notice? Sure, I can be that!” as one Scorpio said. Or in the words of another, “If learning I’m a Scorpio makes people intimidated by me, hey, I’ll take it (and, quite frankly, lean into it).”

Support for my theory: Many of the Scorpios I talked to felt a little uncomfy with their Sun sign when they were younger. I did too—when I first picked up an astrology book in middle school, I decided I felt more like a Sagittarius, the sign after Scorpio, because Scorpio’s dark, sexy vibes were too intimidating for preteen me (and it turns out my Moon, Mercury, and Venus are all in Sagittarius, so I did have a point). But as I got older, I embraced my Sun sign and am now a proud Scorp.

Astrologer Narayana Montúfar had a similar experience. “I love being a Scorpio! It was not easy to learn to be myself, but once I realized that my emotional depth is a strength and not a weakness, things began to turn around for me,” she said. “And I’m not afraid of being intense either.” See, the qualities that many hate in Scorpios—guardedness, intensity, a fascination with darkness—can be positive if looked at in the right way. As Montúfar puts it, “We’re not for everyone, but do we even want to be? I say no!”

Let’s recap! Why do people hate Scorpios?
“Scorpios are manipulative and controlling.”
As fixed signs, Scorpios are notoriously stubborn—we like to have our own way, okay? And usually, we’re right! Look, which other zodiac sign has both the emotional intelligence to know what to do and the determination to take charge and see a project through to the end? If a Scorpio wants to take control, I say let them.

“Scorpios are possessive and jealous.”
Okay, I admit that Scorpios might pay a little more attention to who’s Liking your Instagram posts than, say, a laid-back Taurus would. But it’s only because they care so much! When Scorpios fall for someone, they fall hard, and their intense feelings can even scare them a little. Reassure your Scorpio how much you care for them, and it’ll help soothe their worries. (That said, there’s definitely such a thing as too much jealousy, and you have my full permission to dump a Scorpio if you need to.)

“Scorpios are cold and aloof.”
Look, Scorpios seem intimidating, but really they’re just shy! They’re sweet water sign babies on the inside, but their ruling planet, Mars (planet of war), means they sometimes come off a little, uh, scary (also: sexy—Mars is also the planet of sex). After you spend some time with a Scorpio and gain their trust, you’ll see a whole other side to them. One that’s definitely more warm (or hot) than cold.

“Scorpios hold grudges.”
Yes, Scorpios hold grudges…but why is this a bad thing??? Scorpios *can* forgive (with time, repentance, and a lot of groveling), but they never forget. And TBH, this serves them well in life. Scorpios are *great* judges of character. If you don’t want a Scorpio to hold a grudge against you, well, don’t cross them in the first place!